Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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