btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
