Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
