He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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