she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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