She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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