i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
