Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
