Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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