Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
