similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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