Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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