I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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