Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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