He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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