Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
