Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
