Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
