I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
