Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
