Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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