I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
