Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
