Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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