idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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