She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
