omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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