There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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