just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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