...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
