Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
