Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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