fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
