WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
