We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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