no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
