went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
