im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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