don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
