Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We got so high we made milksteak
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
