I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
