he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
