i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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