Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
