Christians are straight up FREAKS
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
