Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
