guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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