sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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