You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
