there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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