Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I touched a dick in church today
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
