so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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