Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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