Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
